I wouldn't want to be a talk show host. That's another awkward compliment people make. 'You should h Show more
I wouldn't want to be a talk show host. That's another awkward compliment people make. 'You should have your own talk show.' And I think, no thank you. Hide
If somebody's looking at pictures of naked people and you go, 'Oh I don't want to see that,' you're Show more
If somebody's looking at pictures of naked people and you go, 'Oh I don't want to see that,' you're lying. Cause naked people are always interesting. Always. Whether they're beautiful, or naked or 500 pounds. Hide
I was prom king. Which is actually saying I was the sixth most popular, because the five who were on Show more
I was prom king. Which is actually saying I was the sixth most popular, because the five who were on homecoming were automatically disqualified from prom, so of course I have to look at it that way. Hide
There are naked people in boots on a mountain top firing guns.
There are naked people in boots on a mountain top firing guns.
We've been swimming at nude beaches and I love to go skinny dipping, but I'm sorry, sitting on top o Show more
We've been swimming at nude beaches and I love to go skinny dipping, but I'm sorry, sitting on top of a mountain, that's just, you're trying to show off or something. That's ridiculous. Hide
Well, I refer to 'Celebrity Jeopardy ' as the short-bus 'Jeopardy,' because it is a lot easier. Like Show more
Well, I refer to 'Celebrity Jeopardy ' as the short-bus 'Jeopardy,' because it is a lot easier. Like, there was a whole column basically naming stores in New York. Hide
I'm not that professional.
I'm not that professional.
It's a very nice thing to have a baby.
It's a very nice thing to have a baby.
Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been he Show more
Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there. Hide
I've always tried to be nice to people, so that sort of translates into popularity, I guess.
I've always tried to be nice to people, so that sort of translates into popularity, I guess.
The basic equation that mystified me as a young man was looking at guys who could actually get girls Show more
The basic equation that mystified me as a young man was looking at guys who could actually get girls. I was always amazed, because they never seemed to care. I was like, 'How do they do that?' Hide
Some people are born with a brain that has this weird, magical mathematical thing that makes them an Show more
Some people are born with a brain that has this weird, magical mathematical thing that makes them an amazing jazz musician. Hide
I mean, I'll say the filthiest things in the world, but when it comes down to it, I'm kind of a prud Show more
I mean, I'll say the filthiest things in the world, but when it comes down to it, I'm kind of a prude. Hide
It's funny, because 'Arrested Development' is tied to Andy Richter in a few different ways. For me p Show more
It's funny, because 'Arrested Development' is tied to Andy Richter in a few different ways. For me personally, after I did Andy Richter, one of the next things I did was a show called 'Quintuplets' for a season for Fox, and this was while 'Arrested Development' was on. I used to go over and hang out on their set. Hide
If you start to just aim for what the audience wants to hear, you're already hamstrung because you d Show more
If you start to just aim for what the audience wants to hear, you're already hamstrung because you don't have any freedom. Hide
I briefly considered doing Edgar Allan Poe and just swearing a lot.
I briefly considered doing Edgar Allan Poe and just swearing a lot.
At a very basic level, I think television exists for game shows, and I think it always will.
At a very basic level, I think television exists for game shows, and I think it always will.
The desire to do different things was the main motivator that made me leave late night because I'd b Show more
The desire to do different things was the main motivator that made me leave late night because I'd been there seven years. The combination of an entrepreneurial desire to see how far I could push my success and a short attention span. But now I've done other things. And I'm sort of ready to sit somewhere and sit in the same place for a while. Hide
I watch mediocre shows that have been on for three or four seasons, and feel angry at them.
I watch mediocre shows that have been on for three or four seasons, and feel angry at them.
No, I don't know any Emily Dickinson poems!
No, I don't know any Emily Dickinson poems!
Anything that I read, I read because I'm interested in it.
Anything that I read, I read because I'm interested in it.
But I don't read a lot of fiction. I prefer the nonfiction stuff.
But I don't read a lot of fiction. I prefer the nonfiction stuff.
Because homecoming came first, and there was the homecoming court. The five guys on homecoming court Show more
Because homecoming came first, and there was the homecoming court. The five guys on homecoming court were disqualified from being in the prom court. So being prom king was being sixth most popular. Hide
I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good.
I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good.
The people on 'Quintuplets' were great, but I wasn't a producer on that show, and it wasn't exactly Show more
The people on 'Quintuplets' were great, but I wasn't a producer on that show, and it wasn't exactly my taste. Hide
Andy Richter'S roles
