Jay Leno
Birthday: 28 April 1950, New Rochelle, New York, USA
Birth Name: James Douglas Muir Leno
Height: 180 cm
Jay Leno began his career in night clubs, where he worked 300 nights a year before hitting it big in 1992 with his own late-night talk show, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (1992). By that time he had ...Show More
[Advice to young comedians when starting out] Comedy is like going to college, you do it for four ye Show more
[Advice to young comedians when starting out] Comedy is like going to college, you do it for four years, then you graduate, then you start getting stand up jobs. You have to look at it like any other job, if you went to work for a big company, you would start in the mail room for a year, maybe nine months if you're exceptional, then you move up. Hide
They always say the Miss America Pageant isn't a beauty contest, it's really a scholarship program. Show more
They always say the Miss America Pageant isn't a beauty contest, it's really a scholarship program. If that's the case, why don't we just put all the contestants on Jeopardy! (1984) and pick Miss America that way? At least you get the smartest one. Hide
[on the steering for his jet-powered motorcycle] "It's kinda like square-dancing with a fat lady: th Show more
[on the steering for his jet-powered motorcycle] "It's kinda like square-dancing with a fat lady: the fact that she does it at all is pretty amazing." Hide
In Huntington Beach, California, three police instructors lost their jobs after ordering two cadets Show more
In Huntington Beach, California, three police instructors lost their jobs after ordering two cadets who were caught smoking to eat cigarette sandwiches as punishment. And of course the tobacco companies are thinking, 'Cigarette sandwiches - what a great idea.' Hide
"In France, they're having trouble translating a lot of Internet terms into French. In France the la Show more
"In France, they're having trouble translating a lot of Internet terms into French. In France the law is you have to use French words. For example, there are no French words for surfing the Web, there aren't any French words for chat session, and there aren't any French words for hacker. Of course, a lot of other words don't translate to French either: military victory, deodorant..." (From The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (1992), May 4, 2001) Hide
People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it.
People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it.
Riding a Ducati is like having sex with an aerobics instructor - you know, I'm exhausted and panting Show more
Riding a Ducati is like having sex with an aerobics instructor - you know, I'm exhausted and panting and it's going: 'Are you done, already?' Hide
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't f Show more
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. Hide
[on NBC replacing Conan O'Brien with Jay Leno after only seven months of his tenure hosting "The Ton Show more
[on NBC replacing Conan O'Brien with Jay Leno after only seven months of his tenure hosting "The Tonight Show"] -- Conan got screwed. I got screwed. This is TV. The reason show business pays a lot of money is so when you get screwed you've got something left over. Hide
During the infamous O.J. Simpson murder trial: "Actor wannabe Kato Kaelin is very excited about this Show more
During the infamous O.J. Simpson murder trial: "Actor wannabe Kato Kaelin is very excited about this trial. It's the first call-back he's had in two years. 'Oh, a part! A part! I got another part!'" Hide
"Looks like Darva 'Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?' Conger (Darva Conger) will pose naked in Show more
"Looks like Darva 'Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?' Conger (Darva Conger) will pose naked in 'Playboy' Magazine. She says the photos will be tastefully done. And who else knows more about taste than a woman who marries a man she just met on Fox?" (From The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (1992), May 8, 2000). Hide
"President James Garfield could write in Latin with one hand while writing in Greek with the other. Show more
"President James Garfield could write in Latin with one hand while writing in Greek with the other. I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous." (From The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (1992), March 9, 2001) Hide
"You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh...it's as simple as that."Woman's World (7-4-06)
"You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh...it's as simple as that."Woman's World (7-4-06)
It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many Show more
It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead. Hide
Happy birthday to Hugh Hefner. He just turned 88. You might remember, a year-and-a-half ago he marri Show more
Happy birthday to Hugh Hefner. He just turned 88. You might remember, a year-and-a-half ago he married his 26-year-old fiancée, Crystal Harris. Or, as she calls it, bed-panning for gold. Hide
My dad's idea of a good time is to go to Sears and walk around.
My dad's idea of a good time is to go to Sears and walk around.
I've live with five women in my life. Everyone was born on September 5th. Including my wife. I can a Show more
I've live with five women in my life. Everyone was born on September 5th. Including my wife. I can always spot a September 5th. I guess I must just be attracted to women born on September 5th. Hide
The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it.
The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it.
A new medical study reports that men who eat ten pizzas a week are less likely to develop prostate p Show more
A new medical study reports that men who eat ten pizzas a week are less likely to develop prostate problems at age 50. That's because they are usually dead by age 40. Hide
"Seems there's a big debate going on about whether a new TV commercial for Minute Maid orange juice Show more
"Seems there's a big debate going on about whether a new TV commercial for Minute Maid orange juice portrays Popeye and Bluto as gay lovers or just good friends. The commercial shows Popeye and Bluto at the beach and riding a bicycle for two. I don't think that makes them gay. I think the fact they both find Olive Oyl attractive, that makes them gay." (From The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (1992), June 4, 2001) Hide
Some sad news: President George W. Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was Show more
Some sad news: President George W. Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick. Hide
"I saw something stupid in the paper today - a new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people Show more
"I saw something stupid in the paper today - a new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people who don't like loud noises. Instead, it slowly hits you with light and gets brighter and brighter until you wake up. I already have one of those...it's called a window." (From The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (1992), February 14, 2001) Hide
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Tea Show more
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. Hide
I see that Mike Tyson has just filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. It marks the first time that Mike Ty Show more
I see that Mike Tyson has just filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. It marks the first time that Mike Tyson has made it to Chapter 11 in anything. Hide
If God had wanted us to vote He would have given us candidates.
If God had wanted us to vote He would have given us candidates.
[on the now-defunct XFL] "Ratings for the XFL are so low that pretty soon they'll be able to address Show more
[on the now-defunct XFL] "Ratings for the XFL are so low that pretty soon they'll be able to address the viewers by name." Hide
You aren't famous until my mother has heard of you.
You aren't famous until my mother has heard of you.
"A historic operation occurred over in Boston. Doctors successfully transplanted tissue from a pig's Show more
"A historic operation occurred over in Boston. Doctors successfully transplanted tissue from a pig's brain to a man's brain -- and the man's brain did not reject it. That pretty much confirms what women have been saying about men" (From The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (1992), April 25, 1995). Hide
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
This week, Britney Spears sent out invitations for her marriage to Kevin Federline. But those aren't Show more
This week, Britney Spears sent out invitations for her marriage to Kevin Federline. But those aren't really invitations, those are more like season tickets. Once you have one, you get to go to all her weddings until January. Hide
Jay Leno's FILMOGRAPHY
as Actor (677)
Jay Leno'S roles
Crystal Ball
Santa Claus
Jay Limo
Jay
Joe
The Crimson Chin
Fire Hydrant
Fast Tony
Jay Leno, Kitty
Colonel Contraction
Jay Leno, Mayor Jay Leno
Joe
Jay Leno
Himself
